Sunday, January 8, 2012

Dear SFE...

Darlings, as you know my "gym-time" is endured for the betterment of health blah blah blah but also for your amusement, and in some extreme cases as a cautionary tale. To be fair, I am occasionally (always) in a crabby mood when engaging in "sport", so please forgive if my observations appear harsh or judgmental. Even Miss O cannot be magnanimous 100% of the time.

This "episode" prompted one of my first open letters in the Cordially, Miss O format, which I have found is a useful vehicle for imparting wisdom, advice, and gentle critique.

Dear Skinny French Embryo at the gym wearing full make-up and a f*cknot, with your trashy bra-straps showing,

If I ever catch you looking at my Honey again, you're not going to make it to fetus. Are we clear? Good. I'm so glad we had this chat. 

Cordially, Miss O

When this missive was first made public, there was an outpouring of support from the community which helped to diffuse what could have quickly become an "international incident". There was a precarious moment when the Miss O Death Stare (TM) reached Defcon 4 but I am happy to report that no casualties were sustained. As to the fate of the aforementioned SFE, I had nothing to do with her fall down the stairs, nor her near-suffocation in the steam room. Nothing.

This incident raised a number of queries from the Miss O readership.
A. French people go to the gym? 
B. What, pray tell, is a f*cknot?

Miss O is an educator, and as such, is delighted to share her knowledge and experience. So...
A. Yes, a handful of french people go to the gym. Besides Honey and those select few who genuinely enjoy being sportive, the rest are grade-A douchebags (and that's just the girls). I will be writing at length about the specific flavors and habits of these specimen.

B. A f*cknot (or f*ck-knot) is a hairdo intended to heighten the wearer's desirability by indicating that the creature in question has just hit the sheets and may be amenable to further unclothed adventures.It can be recognized by a state of disarray with excessive volume/knot at the back of the crown. When naturally achieved in the privacy of one's home, the f*cknot can be charming. However, taking the f*cknot on the road, whether legitimately earned or falsified, is strongly discouraged.

Here endeth the lesson.


  1. oh dear Ondine.... you just made me snarf my third cup of coffee.

  2. A reader's question from monceau les mines

    Talking about fetuses, you still go to gym ?

  3. @Matthieu: I only lift 5kg and do everything else at a snail's pace.